Muslims Ask

Do you dream of finding a life partner who will love and cherish you? Someone who will walk through the highs and lows of life with you and faithfully keep those wedding vows? Someone who will love you for who you truly are and desires to grow old with you by their side? Perhaps your marriage was arranged by others and you didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. Maybe you’re just fulfilling the tenets of a contract. Perhaps you felt that the expectations placed upon you were so heavy that all you could do was acquiesce and hope to Allah that the one chosen for you would treat you kindly? When you were growing up, were you made to feel “less than” because you were a girl? And that due to your gender you were told that you had limited reasoning power, and were psychologically weak and could lead a man into sexual temptation just by exposing your wrists and ankles?

What about your children? Raising godly children in this day and age is a daunting challenge. Perhaps you live in a society with permissive values. Do your children spend more time on the internet than they do at the family table? Do you feel that your values, language and cultural norms are being lost upon your children? Most families strive to raise sons and daughters who are ethical, respectful and responsible.

Many Muslim women live with the fear of divorce. If they don’t produce male children, or please their husbands in the bedroom or submit to his desires in any other way, then the proverbial ax may fall in the form of divorce, or even worse, a polygamous marriage. To some, a polygamous marriage is preferable to an adulterous husband.
The good news is that a stable marriage with a loving spouse and a solid family structure where children are desired and nurtured is possible! The home can become a refuge from the pressures of the world and the marriage bed a special place that lovers share. When Christ becomes the head of the home, the possibilities are endless. He says in his holy book, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5).  He also said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).

We were created by a personal, loving God who cares about the details of our lives and faithfully provides for us. The perfect marriage can be obtained when three persons unite-the man, the woman and God. This is the union that makes marriage holy. God can help you to develop the components of a good marriage which include mutual respect, genuine commitment and good communication. Problems and differences can be resolved through forgiveness: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).

Faith in Christ is the most important of all principles which can ensure a happy home and marriage. When this faith is modeled before the children it will cause them to desire the same for their own lives.